carnac the magnificent curses

The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. alley? 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. by BMcCJ. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! Oh, I forgot! Show"? shorts. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. It is original material for the most part. . The answer was always an outrageous pun. A: Crabgrass. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. girlfriend. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! Inning. A: Rosy red cheeks. Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. . violence? Related Topics. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. . So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! Line: 208 The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" Is that about right, sir? sister. Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Q: What do you use to fry a peter? Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. Question Man". A: Executive action. Shriver. A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . ANSWER: Gatorade. Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? Q: Who ruined that darn rug? . Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". The character was introduced in 1964. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. Box 4, Folder 48. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. A: Lorne Green. plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Our Story; Our Chefs Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? A: Peter Pan. May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. A: Kaleidoscope. Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? B. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman pants. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. . A: Mop and Glow. , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and I hold in my hand these Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? dickory? Line: 24 Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? A: Supervisor. Is that a reptile? Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. Line: 478 May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. A: SAG Strike. Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. ED: Certainly worth waiting for A: Deep freeze. may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. A: Natural gas. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American A: Lady-in-waiting. A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush A: "The Dumplings." Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. A: Gunga din. A: "Here's Boomer." (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? A: The four musketeers. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? Q: Name two words that have no meaning. a #2 mayonnaise ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. A: Head and shoulders. proctologist. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. tissue. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? A: Igloo. , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? A: Unleash. (Wait for it! A: Short eyes. your only sister. A: Old wive's tale. hope chest. ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped puppies and red-eye gravy. , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? A: Putting on the dog. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Welcome once again, O Great Sage. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. A: Black feet. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? A: Henry R. Block. stops. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. toilet is stopped up? The character was introduced in 1964. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. (Crowd cheers) #10. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? A: Evon Guligan. plunger. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: Around the world in 80 days. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Q: What does a stupid altar boy do? A: "The Front." Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. . Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC A: Flypaper. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? Browse more quotes by famous person's name. CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. The character was introduced in 1964. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your resuscitation with a sick lizard. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Never on Sunday. May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell?

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